Why do people get out of their relationship?
Simply because it brings out the worst in them.

Being in a healthy relationship means that your best self comes out. The best version of you comes out. You become better than before. You brighten up any room by your presence because you have that aura of joy and love radiating from inside of you.

We have a chairwoman who despite handling the biggest barangay always have a smile for everyone. She is very visible and all her works benefit the barangay. You don’t see her ranting on how stubborn the people of her barangay is. Everytime I see her I smile. I can feel her happy aura and as I pass her by. She also said “mayroong forever kami ng asawa ko. (There is forever for me and my husband.) I guess their relationship brings out the best in her.

But if the relationship is intoxicating and suffocating, it will bring out the worst in you. If the relationship is one sided like when the happiness of the family or your happiness depends upon the happiness of one person, its like a mountain waiting for its landslide.

Its easy to say we can make our own happiness. Yes its true when you’re alone. But if you’re in a relationship everything is affected by the relationship. Your decisions, your way of life, your choices and other things are affected by the relationship. Simply because you don’t only think for yourself but also for the people inside that relationship.

If that relationship affects you badly you become the worst version of your self. You suffocate other people outside the relationship. You are no longer fun to be with. Believe me or not they can sense the bad aura you radiate. People would rather go out without you. People tend to be quiet when you’re around. People would ran away when they see you.

Do you make the room happy? Are you in an intoxicating relationship?

If you’re not married its easier to get out of that marriage. But if you’re married its different. You have to learn how to swim in that relationship. You have to make your own tiny box of happiness. How? Write every tiny happiness that you have. Like no.1 waking up. No.2 looking at your child smiling at you. No.3 you were able to wash all your laundry, and so on. Life will be better if you know how to count your blessings despite the unhappiness.

Its a different story if your husband hits you. Call a lawyer or report to the barangay. No one should hurt you physically.

No matter what begin counting your blessings now!

Happy New Year.